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Ook Havelock Ellis schrijft over de geliefde: 'Een nieuwe schoonheid verschijnt op haar gelaat, een nieuwe straling in haar expressie, een nieuwe kracht in al haar activiteiten' en 'Such is the exquisite flowering of love' Deze wederzijdse beïnvloedbaarheid is van cruciaal belang voor het voortbestaan van de verliefdheid. Pas waar deze 'hypnose' plaatsmaakt voor haar tegendeel afstandscheppende ruzie worden de kleine verschillen tot onoverbrugbare
kloven
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That the 'first sight' of romantic lovers seems to be a divine inspiration induces many an author to find a rational foundation for this choice. Their theories prefer to overlook that the 'coup de foudre' precisely has to compensate for the impossibility to make a rational choice. One of the oldest of these theories is the well known story of Aristophanes in Plato's Symposion: how double-beings are cut in two halves that henceforth are desperately searching for their lost counterpart. This theory is echoed in the eugenetic theory that partners make their choice in view of obtaining an average, like in Campanella's City of the Sun. With Schopenhauer, it is the sense of beauty which thereby guides the sexual drive. Galton made a composite photograph of many faces and found the all composites are more beautiful than the separate elements, because all the irregularities are wiped out. The theory became popular among philosophers of art (Groos, Taine, Baine, Guyau enz.). In the wake of Schopenhauer, Weininger formulates a law of attraction which allows to predict that there are always two beings who are the best match. With Jung, the choice is made in view of flattening the opposition between extraversion and introversion, as well as between the four ways of perceiving (intuition, feeling, thinking and sensation). Symons believes Galton is right in putting that sexual selection tends to reduce variability and to reduce the extremes in the distribution over the population. Money is talking of 'love maps'. Al these theories survive in popular thinking in the form of the belief in 'types' in all kinds of forms and in the feeling that partners are predestined to each other, the feeling of always have know each other.
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